For some reason my body occasionally convinces itself that I am falling, so my arms and legs shoot out like I'm one of those acrobatic parachutists. Daddy thinks this is funny. Wait until I pee on his favorite dress shirt.

Parents took me to church yesterday. Lots of women took turns holding me. I thought this might be snack time, but apparently only Mommy is capable of producing milk. I knew she was special. The preacher talked about heaven and forgiveness and living the right way. I think there's a clause somewhere that covers me for the next few years, however.